Another funeral post

I got up early and headed to Edgewood today to go to Darren's funeral. It was a nice service. I cried through the whole damn thing. I have this memory of the night my sister died - Cathy (Darren's mom, our pastor's wife) hugged me tight in the hallway while I cried. I was trying to go be alone because it was so hard to hear my parents moaning in grief in the living room. It was the most terrible sound I have ever heard. But Cathy followed me back there and held me and comforted me while I cried. I am bringing this up because before the funeral today, she came out and starting walking toward where we were sitting, and I couldn't help it, I looked down and bawled. She came behind the pew, wrapped her arms around me, and gave me a big, long hug. I felt terrible, I mean, she is the one who should be bawling and being comforted, but it's just in her nature to care for other people, and that is what their whole family is dedicated to doing. I am so grateful that they care about my family. To be honest, I hadn't seen Darren in a few years so I know my everyday life isn't going to be impacted much by his death, but what is tearing me up about this is that I don't want them to go through all this. I don't want ANYONE to deal with this kind of thing. I hate that their family is in so much pain. They are truly good, caring people.

Anyway, I should be done with the depressing blogs soon. This is quite a bit to work through. I am glad I went today even though this is one of the most difficult days I've had in a while. I guess I should count that as a good thing. I really have had a good run the last few years, and I am thankful for the lack of days like today.