Feeling normal

I could get used to this. After everything that's happened this year, I was unsure whether my stomach would ever settle. But this post isn't about how I've felt in the past, it's about how I feel lately.

Productive - sure my poster is late, but it's finished, and I'm just waiting for the final approval before I send it to print. I packed my lunch today, I got to campus by 8:15, I have work out clothes in my bag, and I'm going to use them today. I generally sleep well at night these days (or these nights?), and even though I didn't last night, I still got outta bed this morning.

In control - as much as a person can be. Putting others before yourself is all fine, well, and good when things are going well, but when things are tough, you need to be able to look to yourself to make changes. That's impossible to do when you've put your feelings on the backburner for so long because "the only thing you can really change is your attitude". Well, thanks, but I've tried to change my attitude about things, and really, it's just my attitude about my feelings that needed to change. Why are everyone else's feelings so much more important than mine? They aren't... I'm taking back control of any reasonable factor in my life that can be improved. If anyone has feelings about that, they can express THEIR feelings and compromises can be made. For real.

Hopeful - goes hand in hand with control. I finally feel like I can do something to make things better, instead of feeling like my feet are glued to the ground in some dark, cold cave where the only comfort is under a warm blanket. (Although I can't deny that crawling into bed is very tempting right now, especially because the office here is FRIGID!)

It all adds up to happy. And happy can be increased exponentially by the grilling of steak and cabbage for dinner. Did you know you can grill cabbage? Whether I can do it successfully remains to be seen, but I'm trying it tonight. Supposedly, you just cut it into wedges, season it, and grill it in foil packets. Hmmm.