TRYING to end on a positive note...LOL

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

OK I guess I won't try to end on a positive note...I'll end on a positive note!

There was a bit of a job switcheroo last week, when I was given an assistantship. Typically, when grad students are given an assistantship, it means they work with professors in their program and get some kind of compensation, usually money, health insurance, and tuition. Which I should be really excited about, but honestly, it happened so fast that it's left me reeling in shock. And I didn't love the way it happened either. For example, my boss, the woman who took me in for no good reason and gave me a great job, supported me through what was the hardest year of my life last year, was told I accepted the assistantship before I even knew it was on the table. I don't know if it was some kind of misunderstanding, but it felt kinda wrong to me, like there was a lot more going on than I know about.

Ideally, the offer would've been on the table last month, giving me, and my boss for that matter, time to consider our options. One thing that kinda chokes me up (and I so hope I'm not mistaken) is that even with all this hooey, she seems to be looking out for me. I know I'm a good employee - I don't mean to sound like this is all a one way street, but I also know I have a good thing at school. So, what IF the offer had been on the table earlier? I guess there are two options. My boss would find a way to match it. Or, we'd all have time to mull it over, and even if it was decided that the assistantship really was the best offer, I'd take it but be able to feel good about the way it went down.

Instead, I feel pretty uncomfortable about leaving my old, comfy job and starting a new one. My old boss said, and I really hope she meant it, that I made the right choice taking the job. Apparently, the wrong here wasn't in my actions but in the way this all went down. But tell that to my guilty conscience. This kinda thing eats me up.

One more gloomy paragraph. This morning, I got a headache in my class and couldn't shake it all day. I took Tylenol and everything. What the heck kind of headache doesn't go away when you take medicine? Ugh! But it wasn't a terrible headache, so I toughed it out and went to the gym after I left the office. When I got home at almost 6, I was totally miserable. My head hurt so bad! It was maybe the worst, most stubborn headache of my life. Tom was precious, bringing me ibuprofen, water, and peanut butter on whole wheat bread. I laid down til 7 and did feel a little better, but my head is hurting again. How much drugs can I really take in a day?? I will take another dose of ibuprofen real quick before bed. This is for the birds. On one hand, I hope it's stress related so I'm not getting sick or something. On the other hand, I don't want to be stressed out enough to get a headache like this. :-S

I need to focus on some positives and quit worrying about things I can't change (anymore).

I really am excited about getting to work with other professors, it's just buried under the hooey. I have a task to do for one of them tomorrow (I was assigned to 2, 10 hours/week each), and I'm looking forward to working on something different than I'm used to.

I got up early today even though I had an extra 45 minutes to sleep if I wanted.

I cleaned off my desk at the office. :-)

I got to catch up with my friend Twila and schedule a happy hour.

My husband was really sweet about my headache. And he put together our salad for dinner.

I worked my butt off at the gym today. Plan to tomorrow also.

I rented a new locker at the gym and asked for one in the back because last semester, I was right by the door, and it was like, "Hello and welcome to the locker room, from me and my boobs." Apparently, the girls in the back of the locker room like to walk around completely naked, which is kinda awkward for prudish me. But hey, at least I can change in relative privacy without going into a bathroom stall. *thumbs up*

On the radar for tomorrow:
1) Make my lunch.
2) Work in the office
3) Possibly meet 2nd new boss who I haven't met yet?? Guess I better brush my hair...
4) Gym
5) This for dinner.

Good night! I feel better having written some stuff out...


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